Tuesday, October 15, 2013


As far back as I can remember, it’s always been like this.

The first time I saw him, it was from from a distance; he was sitting at a picnic table with an adorable girl at his side, who was fawning over his every move.  When looked at him, everything else seemed to go out of focus—everything but him. He was beautiful and I wanted him badly. The memory of it still brings back that feeling; a rush, the necessity for possession.  Oblivious to me, he was talking to the girl on the bench sitting next to him and she was giggling. Clearly, she was not worthy of his attentions.

He was perfection personified; a tawny wonder, dressed all in beige, slouchy corduroy jeans, a workman’s shirt, beige desert boots. His skin was golden; I needed to touch it. He was a natural towhead, his hair stripey with about eight shades of blonde, from gossamer white to dishwater, but the lashes that lined his yellow tiger’s eyes were thick and black. I was alone in a private haze of desire.  Nothing was going to stand in my way.

As though I was sleepwalking, or a zombie slavishly obeying a command, with no idea what I was going to do or say or even how I got there, I found myself standing behind him. For a moment, everything seemed to blank out into a white roar, and then, with all my strength, I shoved the girl as hard as I could and she fell off the bench, landing in a crumpled pile on the floor. She immediately started howling.

 All  charming smiles, I batting my eyelashes flirtatiously as though nothing out of the ordinary had just occurred, and I took her place on the bench. Everyone around us was sort of frozen, not sure what to do or how to react at his barbaric display.

He looked at me, sizing me up, then slowly and deliberately, his eyes wandered down to the floor before locking once again onto mine.  An almost smug smile of satisfaction and recognition spread over his face.  We didn’t need words.  He knew me.  We made plans to marry, and announced it to everyone.

The relationship grew complicated when another guy tried to take me away from him.  A fight-first verbal, then physical- broke out, but I calmed them both down before effortlessly playing them against each other for all I was worth, acting like it was just an accident.

That’s all I can recall about my first day of kindergarten.


This story was originally published in my short story collection  "Escape From Houdini Mountain" on  Manic D Press, 2000...sorry Lady Gaga, I  used the title first!

Purchase Escape From Houdini Mountain  on Kindle here:

Purchase my new book Showgirl Confidential here:


 Wednesday, Oct. 16, LOS FELIZ, CA
Official Launch Party, Reading & Signing
Skylight Books
181 N. Vermont Ave, LA 90067
7pm  FREE

 Thursday, Nov.14, 2013  ECHO PARK, CA
Reading & Signing
Stories Books & Café
1716 Sunset Blvd, LA 90026
7:00pm FREE

Sunday, Dec. 14, 2013 LOS ANGELES, CA
Reading & Signing
Chevalier’s Books
126 N. Larchmont, LA 90004
4:00pm  FREE

No comments:

Post a Comment